Arrested Development

Yesterday I was watching Excel Saga, I wanted to check It out cuz of how 2000s it looked, I had fun w it. I've been talking to people from the Pop'n fandom online, and I've realized how insecure about the thing I like I am. I think that whenever I get tattached to a group or a person, I start to mask and try to be like tehm, like a chameleon changing colors. I really got into My Hero Academia cuz a guy that I liked was very very into Kiribaku, and I also shifted to mainly be a Bara artist cuz he was. I rlly liked Golden Kamuy at the time, but I started to talk less about it when he told me that I was annoying for talking about it on my whatsapp stories, I think that made me eventually lose interest in Golden Kamuy

More recently, I got into another friend group, and I wanted to fit in so bad, but they were cinephiles, even when they denied being a bit of an elitist. They hated anime, which, tbh yeah I get it, the industry is oversaturated of very tropey series with the same formula, and worker explotation... I do keep watching anime because it's just animation from japan, and I find most of the 90s-2000s productions very interesting (and I quite LOVE a lot of classics from the 70s), and yet they would just cross anything as bad, so at a point I felt cringe and inmature for watching anything under the anime umbrella, I'm a grown ass man, only good live action movies for me sir... well, that ended badly from when I got absolutely hyperfixated in Pop'n Music, I wanted to not talk too much about it, since my former friendgroup would think it's more anime crap

So, I just repressed who I was, I tried to be funnier, and more mature... that was a lie, I'm a inmature chronically online, autistic fuck. I love pop'n music, I'm passionate about the game and my own fanworks, it's weird seeing people not changing their tastes for others on the internet, or people that have been expressing their love for the same franchise for years, I always thought you had to grow out of the things you liked at 16, maybe that's why I felt shame for liking Lupin III too much... I bought an Ita bag recently, my ex-wife is keeping it until I can go and grab it, I'm going to fill it to the brim with pop'n music badges :3